Indicative of something

[gominokouhai]

This was the view from my window today. An unending cavalcade of motorbikes, some inventively adorned—one had Crazy Frog riding pillion^[0]—and mostly making a bloody noise, streaming past the window for a good ten or fifteen minutes. There were a lot of them. I watched them for a while, then went to get the camera, took some photos, then got dressed and left the flat. They were still going.

Since I look like a tour guide, people often ask me stuff. In this case, unsurprisingly, a huge bloke waiting at the crossing with me asked me in very careful English: this motorcycle rally is for what? I didn't know, but I provide the best customer service in Edinburgh and this sort of thing switches me instantly into Customer Service Mode, so reflexively I had to find out.

Once the bikes had passed, I asked the nice policeman who'd been directing traffic at the crossing.

Yr. corresp.: What was all that in aid of?
Nice clean-shaven policeman in a uniform and everything: Move along.

Fuck you, too.

Undeterred, and still in Customer Service Mode, I asked the biggest, hairiest, tattooed-est, motorcycle-leather-wearing-est I could find.

Yr. corresp.: You look like you might know. What was all that about?
Giant hairy tattooed biker: It's a charity run, in aid of a biker who's died. We're going down the Royal Mile later.

In summary, then—smart policeman who I pay for: rude fuckface. Scary Hells-Angel type: polite, friendly, helpful, and charitable.

I got the impression, walking away, that this anecdote was the singular of data. The exchange was symbolic of something. If only I could put my finger on what.

--
[0] Little-known driving fact: it's legal to run Crazy Frog into the hard shoulder and set him on fire, but you have to make sure you get the real Crazy Frog, or it doesn't count. Fact.

Comments

[actionreplay.livejournal.com]

Bikers tend to be very helpful, I think they like confounding expectations. Hence the "one percenters". The Edinburgh Harley club also do charity events at the Hard Rock cafe btw. Last time they did one they were doing a raffle with one of the prizes being a ride on the back of a Harley up and down George St. This of course meant there was a row of gleaming Harleys parked outside the HRC. During the festival, I think.

[http://www.google.com/profiles/hurleydies]

Twitter pointed me at this article earlier, which suggests they're complaining about the price of fuel:

http://www.visordown.com/motorcycle-news--general-news/motorcyclists-furious-protest-over-fuel-prices/14258.html

Maybe it was also a tribute to a dead biker? For charity? Hmm.

[(Anonymous)]

Love this :)

THink I have lost r email address. Did Frances mention Nov 27th to you? Are you and stormsearch free then(evening)?

PS the captcha for this reply is cabitic fluids. Kinky:)

[gominokouhai]

Up on the left hand side there's a link that says contact information.

She did. You two are being very circumspect. I should be able to arrange time off.

[spudtater]

You still probably shouldn't use them as security, though.

[gominokouhai]

I'm starting to think that you really should.

[spudtater]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altamont_Free_Concert

[gominokouhai]

There's a difference between a motorcycle club and a motorcycle gang. That's why the latter call themselves one-percenters.

[spudtater]

Well, you were the one who described him as a "Hells-Angel type".

But anyway.

The big problem at the Altamont Free Concert was the failure to understand that security is about more than being big and muscly and able to physically protect some stuff. It's also about being able to interact neutrally with the public, and not get riled up by arseholes.

Getting a fiercely proud bunch of people, with a disdain for the general public, authorising them to create confrontations, and then paying them in mind-altering substances, was about the stupidest thing you could possibly do. In hindsight.

Using members of a legal, friendly motorcycle club as security would be merely less wrong. Not actually right.

(N.B. Friendliness doesn't actually help crowd control. In fact, it can just reveal a chink in your armour that invites the arseholes to have a go. Politeness, though, that's a good thing.)

[gominokouhai]

The point of the post was that responsibility for security does not, and should not, necessitate being an utter cunt. Not being associated with organized crime would merely be an added bonus.

> Getting a fiercely proud bunch of people, with a disdain for the general public, authorising them to create confrontations, [...] was about the stupidest thing you could possibly do

My point exactly.

> and then paying them in mind-altering substances

I didn't know we did that, although I do wonder what happens to all that marijuana that gets `seized'. Oh! You're still talking about the Hell's Angels. Then I see your point about an event that took place a century ago, but I'm not convinced of its relevance.

[spudtater]

ITYM half a century. Unless I'm Rip Van Winkle.

The point is that any group of people may be friendly and courteous in a non-official context, but that doesn't mean they'll make good security. Security requires training, self-awareness, and experience. Otherwise, you're basically just setting up another variant of the Stanford Prison experiment.

I shall concede that policemen, in general, make crap security. They're too tribal, too misanthropic, and too paranoid. But at least they've had some training, and know that their actions have (some) consequences in terms of their career.

Far better, of course, to use an actual professional security company.