Stars, rocks, earthenware

[gominokouhai]

Frisky and Mannish were amazing, as ever. It being the finale for the School of Pop, it was a little melancholy, too. Still, The College Years is still on, and if anything it's better. Edinburgh people: go.

(Here's the trailer in case you have no idea what I'm talking about.)

Then: stargazing! It was cloudy. We saw a single Perseid. One lousy meteor. It was a bloody good one though; a big chunky one with a trail of smoke following it, looking like the shooting stars you get in cartoons. Lovely.

Thus, since astronomy was a bit of a washout, I leave you with a snippet of medieval history:

Robert Curthose, eldest son of William the Conqueror (known as William the Bastard before 1066), instigated his first insurrection against his father in 1077, aged about 24, when his younger brothers emptied a chamberpot over his head. Apparently they'd grown bored of playing at dice and decided that this would be a good way to liven up a dull afternoon. Yeah, and you laugh at what Harry gets up to in the tabloids these days.

Angry that William failed to punish his brothers sufficiently, Robert rode forth the next day and attempted to capture the castle at Rouen. Like you do. It didn't go well. Basically it's not a good idea to pick a fight with a man called the Conqueror, especially not if that man is also called the Bastard, and especially not if that man is also your dad. (Rumours that one of Duke William's other names was Lord Will-spank-the-shit-out-of-you-when-I-get-you-home remain unconfirmed.)

Anyway, bottom line, Robert didn't get to be King after William died. We got William II instead. On such matters as that tenth-century pisspot do the fates of empires turn.

(Lord Will-spank-the-shit-out-of-you-when-I-get-you-home would make an excellent character on Knightmare.)

Comments

LOL - a brood of bastards

[zornhau]

(All IIRC)
Robert got Normandy because it was his patrimony.
William Rufus - 2nd son - got England.
Henry - rd son - got a few bits and bobs.

William Rufus was killed in a hunting "accident". Funnily enough, Henry just happened to be in the right position to grab the throne.

Robert then pissed off on Crusade. To finance this, he mortgaged his duchy to his trustworthy younger brother. Strangely, he never got it back.

Henry I died with lots and lots of bastards but no clear heir. Cue a civil war so bad that people said that Christ and the Saints must be sleeping.

Eventually, Henry II - son of the daughter of Henry I - succeeded to the throne. Guess what? He died with both surviving sons in rebellion against him!

Re: LOL - a brood of bastards

[gominokouhai]

Robert was on his way back from Crusade---would be getting back any minute now---when William was conveniently mistaken for a squirrel in the New Forest, and lost out a second time. Sucks to be him. This is why most people haven't heard of him.

I'm reading up on the Anarchy at the moment, but it's bloody difficult, because everyone involved is called Matilda. And one guy called Stephen.

[spudtater]

> William Rufus was killed in a hunting "accident"

Ah yes, the arrow from the second grassy knoll dense thicket.

[highlyeccentric]

You, sir, are spectacular and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter forthwith.

[gominokouhai]

Welcome aboard. Please collect your complimentary DW feed from the stewardess.

nakedphilologist_feed

[highlyeccentric]

My next question was going to be "So I keep this blog about medieval stuff, can I direct the readers of said blog to your eminently hilarious tale of Robert Curthose and the chamber pot?"

Thanks for setting up the DW feed! :D

[gominokouhai]

Go ahead. Links are awesome. Everything on here is CC:BY-NC-SA unless otherwise specified.