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To understand who he was you have to go back to another time, when the world was powered by the black fuel and the deserts sprouted great cities of pipe and steel. Gone now. Swept away. Without fuel they were nothing. They had built a house of straw. The thundering machines sputtered and stopped.

On the roads it was a whitelined nightmare. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on men. The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a tank of juice. And in this maelstrom of decay, ordinary men were battered and smashed. Men like Max. The warrior Max.

I love me a bit of prophetic dystopia, I do.

Happy Stanislav Petrov Day, everyone, but the way things are going I'm starting to think we might all be better off if he'd just pushed that damn button.

gominokouhai: (Default)

I had an exam. It was a resit exam, second year artificial intelligence module 2Bh. I had done no revision, which was pretty common for me at the time. It was twenty years ago. It was a Tuesday. I was twenty-one years old and in some ways very stupid, not least of which was in my assumption that I could wing this one. The exam was at Adam House, a beautiful old Adamist neoclassical hall on the same street as my lab, and scheduled for 2pm. As I walked across the Meadows I listened to music on my Creative NOMAD Jukebox mp3 player, which had the size and form factor of a Sony Discman.

2pm UK time, when my exam started, is 9am in New York. The first plane hit the North Tower at 08:46.

The rule in exams is: no one leaves the hall in the first thirty minutes. The questions were all on generalized modus ponens and other tedious matters of formal logic. I'd taken a degree in artificial intelligence so that I could build the Terminator and this stuff was all far beneath me. I put in a few perfunctory answers and spent ten minutes watching the clock tick onwards to 09:30.

On the dot of 09:30, as I got up and left the hall with a flourish (I wasn't wearing cloaks then, but it was the early oughts and I had a fabulous swishy leather trenchcoat), I drew behind me a train of five or six other students who'd all been waiting for the same moment.

Met up with Dragal outside the exam hall. He'd been directly behind me during my flounce. (I wonder what he's up to these days?) We went to Starbucks on North Bridge for a chat and some sort of elaborate caramel frappuccino, and then dropped into the machine lab to catch up on email. Going to a specific physical location in order to connect to the internet was a thing in those days.

(For unrelated reasons, mostly to do with my then-burgeoning and now firmly-established anticorporate stance, I've never spent money in a Starbucks since that day.)

Facebook didn't exist then, nor did Dreamwidth, or even Livejournal. But I was on everything2, an early attempt to invent the concept of the wiki that didn't ever really catch on. Logged-in users had a chatbox down in the lower right corner. (HTML frames!) As I surfed the nascent web, I became peripherally aware of comments going by like: As of 10:15 both towers are down, and I deduced that something might be happening. So I opened a new instance of Netscape Navigator for Solaris and directed it towards a popular news website.

Holy shit.

On the way back home across the Meadows I used SMS on my Nokia 8110 (which of course I'd bought because it was the one from THE MATRIX) to text my then-girlfriend* (I wonder what she's doing these days?) and my father. I spoke to my father later on a voice call. The conversation mostly consisted of commentary regarding how much the scenes unfolding at the Pentagon resembled scenes from the current videogame Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2.

I turned the radio on when I got home, and left it on. I slept that night with a torch under my bed, because I didn't own a gun. We had no idea what was going to happen next, and it was what I had, and I didn't know what else to do.

The following day, 12th September 2001, the Telegraph ran an editorial stating that, since the attacks were obviously coordinated on the internet, the US military must immediately be allowed access to every communication that had crossed it, just in case it might be relevant; also, that any ISP that failed to comply should be immediately targeted by Tomahawk cruise missiles.

Some things haven't changed.

I still have no idea what generalized modus ponens is.

And Starbucks still sucks.

-- 
* Not that one.

2021 begins

Fri, Jan. 1st, 2021 01:28
gominokouhai: (Inspector Fuckup)

Here we go then folks. May the new year bring better things to us all, and dreadful karmic destruction to our enemies.

gominokouhai: (Default)

I was in self-imposed isolation when the national lockdown began on 27th March. When I emerged, fourteen days later, blinking into the daylight as might a newborn babe, the world had changed. Edinburgh had become a ghost town. The few people one could see on the streets all looked vaguely shell-shocked. I found it difficult to resist the urge to whistle the soundtrack to 28 DAYS LATER while walking around.

I've always found those animated advertising hoardings somewhat dystopian, but now they were all reading SUPPORT YOUR HEALTHCARE WORKERS and then SHOP RESPONSIBLY and then an advert for lager, because Scotland, and then IT IS FORBIDDEN TO DUMP BODIES INTO THE RIVER. It's possible I imagined that last one.

I was given a letter that I must carry on my person at all times, authorizing me to travel as an essential worker. Blue observed that being told by my employer that I'm an essential worker is roughly equivalent to being told by a stripper that I'm her favourite. The hotel has been closed but there's still a need for a security presence, and we've been taking the opportunity to do some deep-cleaning. So I'm basically a night watchman now. But at least I have a job.

Since then everything has changed again, and again, and we speak fondly but with a lingering bewilderment of the before-times. And today is the grand reopening of most businesses in Scotland. Everything's going back to normal, except it's really not.

I know we're ready, at my place of work—plastic screens and signage everywhere, QR codes all over the place, mandatory sanitizing stations, staff all trained and drenched in PPE—but I question whether society is ready. I'm in customer service: I talk to humans for a living. I'm not optimistic.

Eleven people on the rota today, to take care of all of our guest. With that sort of staff-to-customer ratio, I think we deserve an extra star.

See you on the flipside, folks.

gominokouhai: (Default)

I twitted about this some time ago (I believe with the comment (I am a fucking genius), and there was some online interest in the recipe (paging [personal profile] nanila). At the time, the recipe was get [twitter.com profile] 1CheshireCheese's awesome El Gringo cheese and make nachos with it, but, should you fail to have the necessary resources handy, here's what you gonnae dae:

Recipe with images )

Serve as part of a healthy balanced diet, with a shitton of chimichurri on top. I'm serious. In sufficient quantities, chimichurri qualifies as one of your five-a-day.

Pulled pork margarita nachos #4 Nom

(Chimichurri recipe COMING SOON for my premium subscribers.)

gominokouhai: (Khaaan!)

Self-isolating. Blue is showing symptoms, probably picked up because she works inna pharmacy, and has been advised to stay home for seven days. I have no symptoms but, because I live with her, as far as I can make sense of current guidelines, the advice for me is to stay home for fourteen days.

I thought this was pretty sucky but then, thanks to social media, I put it in its proper context:

social distancing

I bought a 5kg sack of rice a couple of weeks ago. That's not panic buying, that's maintaining a responsible store cupboard. I was roundly mocked for it at the time, but now I'll show them, I'll show them all. From a distance of >2m, presumably.

I cannot afford two weeks on statutory sick pay but have decided to panic about that some time after the inevitable stir-craziness sets in. Meantime, I'm quite looking forward to the opportunity to catch back up on The Further Adventures of Space Dad. Last night, after we got the news, neither Blue nor I were particularly in the mood for Star Trek, so instead we got drunk and watched CON AIR. One of these things, I find, is a necessary prerequisite to the other.

So... how are folks?

gominokouhai: (Default)

With all of the horrifying shit going on in the world right now, I figured you'd all appreciate a picture of a puffin.

You're welcome.

Taken last summer at Bempton Cliffs. Plans are afoot to get much more up close and personal during the coming season.

WWPD?

Sun, Jan. 26th, 2020 14:12
gominokouhai: (Khaaan!)

I grew up with Captain Jean-Luc Picard. As much as one of the most formative experiences of my adulthood was watching Patrick Stewart alongside Ian McKellen in Waiting for Godot[0], most of the formative experiences of my adolescence were, at least tangentially, related to learning that—to take an example at random—the first duty of any Starfleet officer is to the truth, whether that be scientific truth, or historical truth, or personal truth. It is the guiding principle on which Starfleet is based, and if you can't find it within yourself to stand up and tell the truth about what happened, you don't deserve to wear that uniform.

That voice! Those assured tones, and that tendency to use them to snap off an impassioned speech at the drop of a space hat. The balance of intellectual nerdiness and understated passion on selected subjects. His origin in, and dogged devotion to, the ideals of a genteel interbellum era that couldn't possibly last, unless he had something to say about it. The confidence to do what's right no matter how many admirals tell you otherwise.[1] The charisma to have one's crew follow one round the moons of Nibia and through Perdition's flames in pursuit of thos ideals... Starfleet orders be damned[2]. I learned stability from Spock and interventionism from The Doctor (Who, not EMH), but the moral and emotional core was always mon capitaine. For a man who by his own admission wasn't good with children, Jean-Luc Picard was the best surrogate father a deprived young boy could have.

Which is why I've been totally stoked for the somewhat obviously named STAR TREK: PICARD. I've been waiting twenty years to catch back up with The Further Adventures of Space Dad. And this week he beamed back into my living room as if he'd never been away.

(...but, dad, you said you were just popping out for space cigarettes...)

Ever since TNG ended, I've been rationing my consumption of the remaining episodes that I haven't watched yet, in some possibly misguided application of the inverse taxi driver's fallacy. There are 178 of these in total, there won't ever be any more, and I've already seen more than half. I have, I assume, these three score years and ten in which I get to enjoy the experience of an unseen episode of TNG a maximum of fifty-odd times. Just recently, the projected situation has changed quite radically vis-a-vis hard limits on the scarcity of televisual depictions of Space Dad.[3] As a result, for purely logical (Captain), economic reasons, my consumption of late has markedly increased.

I've been following the blogs and the listicles telling you which episodes you must watch before ST:PIC drops. They've been okay but all of them have been lacking inna certain something, what the French call I don't know what. It might be to do with the fact that they all focus on plot beats with which you might be expected to be familar, and ignore any considerations of heart and/or soul. Perhaps they're all written by green-blooded sons of bitches, or just by people who don't quite get it. Mostly it's probably that none of them inclue 'Rascals', which I will defend even unto my last breath as a very silly, but nonetheless brilliant, hour of television.

Some members of my team at work have asked me for my definitive Essential Star Trek Primer. I can sympathize with the listicle writers because compilation of such a catalogue is hard work, yo. It must be significantly harder if you're writing to a deadline and you don't have the first clue what Star Trek is actually about. My definitive primer is still in the works, natch, but I promise it will be completed some time before the date of the events it's purported to depict. If there's sufficient demand it might even make its way onto the internets.

And none of it matters anyway, in the end. Plot and continuity are irrelevant. Concordance is futile. Star Trek has always been about journeying to the final frontier and, there, learning about oneself: journeying with them through the magick of narrative, we impoverished Earth-bound mortals discover ourselves. This week, Space Dad returned as if he'd never been away, and I learned about myself that, genuinely and unironically, I love him.

-- 

[0] Most of the others involved Beethoven.

[1] It's always the admirals, isn't it?

[2] Seriously, did we ever meet a Starfleet admiral with whom Picard shared mutual respect? There was Hansen, but he lasted about five minutes.

[3] There are enough textual depictions and, in extremis, *shudder* fanfic to keep me going long past my projected lifespan, but it should go without saying that it's not the same unless Sir Patrick is doing it.

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