gominokouhai: (Default)

To understand who he was you have to go back to another time, when the world was powered by the black fuel and the deserts sprouted great cities of pipe and steel. Gone now. Swept away. Without fuel they were nothing. They had built a house of straw. The thundering machines sputtered and stopped.

On the roads it was a whitelined nightmare. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on men. The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a tank of juice. And in this maelstrom of decay, ordinary men were battered and smashed. Men like Max. The warrior Max.

I love me a bit of prophetic dystopia, I do.

Happy Stanislav Petrov Day, everyone, but the way things are going I'm starting to think we might all be better off if he'd just pushed that damn button.

gominokouhai: (Default)

I had an exam. It was a resit exam, second year artificial intelligence module 2Bh. I had done no revision, which was pretty common for me at the time. It was twenty years ago. It was a Tuesday. I was twenty-one years old and in some ways very stupid, not least of which was in my assumption that I could wing this one. The exam was at Adam House, a beautiful old Adamist neoclassical hall on the same street as my lab, and scheduled for 2pm. As I walked across the Meadows I listened to music on my Creative NOMAD Jukebox mp3 player, which had the size and form factor of a Sony Discman.

2pm UK time, when my exam started, is 9am in New York. The first plane hit the North Tower at 08:46.

The rule in exams is: no one leaves the hall in the first thirty minutes. The questions were all on generalized modus ponens and other tedious matters of formal logic. I'd taken a degree in artificial intelligence so that I could build the Terminator and this stuff was all far beneath me. I put in a few perfunctory answers and spent ten minutes watching the clock tick onwards to 09:30.

On the dot of 09:30, as I got up and left the hall with a flourish (I wasn't wearing cloaks then, but it was the early oughts and I had a fabulous swishy leather trenchcoat), I drew behind me a train of five or six other students who'd all been waiting for the same moment.

Met up with Dragal outside the exam hall. He'd been directly behind me during my flounce. (I wonder what he's up to these days?) We went to Starbucks on North Bridge for a chat and some sort of elaborate caramel frappuccino, and then dropped into the machine lab to catch up on email. Going to a specific physical location in order to connect to the internet was a thing in those days.

(For unrelated reasons, mostly to do with my then-burgeoning and now firmly-established anticorporate stance, I've never spent money in a Starbucks since that day.)

Facebook didn't exist then, nor did Dreamwidth, or even Livejournal. But I was on everything2, an early attempt to invent the concept of the wiki that didn't ever really catch on. Logged-in users had a chatbox down in the lower right corner. (HTML frames!) As I surfed the nascent web, I became peripherally aware of comments going by like: As of 10:15 both towers are down, and I deduced that something might be happening. So I opened a new instance of Netscape Navigator for Solaris and directed it towards a popular news website.

Holy shit.

On the way back home across the Meadows I used SMS on my Nokia 8110 (which of course I'd bought because it was the one from THE MATRIX) to text my then-girlfriend* (I wonder what she's doing these days?) and my father. I spoke to my father later on a voice call. The conversation mostly consisted of commentary regarding how much the scenes unfolding at the Pentagon resembled scenes from the current videogame Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2.

I turned the radio on when I got home, and left it on. I slept that night with a torch under my bed, because I didn't own a gun. We had no idea what was going to happen next, and it was what I had, and I didn't know what else to do.

The following day, 12th September 2001, the Telegraph ran an editorial stating that, since the attacks were obviously coordinated on the internet, the US military must immediately be allowed access to every communication that had crossed it, just in case it might be relevant; also, that any ISP that failed to comply should be immediately targeted by Tomahawk cruise missiles.

Some things haven't changed.

I still have no idea what generalized modus ponens is.

And Starbucks still sucks.

-- 
* Not that one.

gominokouhai: (Default)

I was in self-imposed isolation when the national lockdown began on 27th March. When I emerged, fourteen days later, blinking into the daylight as might a newborn babe, the world had changed. Edinburgh had become a ghost town. The few people one could see on the streets all looked vaguely shell-shocked. I found it difficult to resist the urge to whistle the soundtrack to 28 DAYS LATER while walking around.

I've always found those animated advertising hoardings somewhat dystopian, but now they were all reading SUPPORT YOUR HEALTHCARE WORKERS and then SHOP RESPONSIBLY and then an advert for lager, because Scotland, and then IT IS FORBIDDEN TO DUMP BODIES INTO THE RIVER. It's possible I imagined that last one.

I was given a letter that I must carry on my person at all times, authorizing me to travel as an essential worker. Blue observed that being told by my employer that I'm an essential worker is roughly equivalent to being told by a stripper that I'm her favourite. The hotel has been closed but there's still a need for a security presence, and we've been taking the opportunity to do some deep-cleaning. So I'm basically a night watchman now. But at least I have a job.

Since then everything has changed again, and again, and we speak fondly but with a lingering bewilderment of the before-times. And today is the grand reopening of most businesses in Scotland. Everything's going back to normal, except it's really not.

I know we're ready, at my place of work—plastic screens and signage everywhere, QR codes all over the place, mandatory sanitizing stations, staff all trained and drenched in PPE—but I question whether society is ready. I'm in customer service: I talk to humans for a living. I'm not optimistic.

Eleven people on the rota today, to take care of all of our guest. With that sort of staff-to-customer ratio, I think we deserve an extra star.

See you on the flipside, folks.

WWPD?

Sun, Jan. 26th, 2020 14:12
gominokouhai: (Khaaan!)

I grew up with Captain Jean-Luc Picard. As much as one of the most formative experiences of my adulthood was watching Patrick Stewart alongside Ian McKellen in Waiting for Godot[0], most of the formative experiences of my adolescence were, at least tangentially, related to learning that—to take an example at random—the first duty of any Starfleet officer is to the truth, whether that be scientific truth, or historical truth, or personal truth. It is the guiding principle on which Starfleet is based, and if you can't find it within yourself to stand up and tell the truth about what happened, you don't deserve to wear that uniform.

That voice! Those assured tones, and that tendency to use them to snap off an impassioned speech at the drop of a space hat. The balance of intellectual nerdiness and understated passion on selected subjects. His origin in, and dogged devotion to, the ideals of a genteel interbellum era that couldn't possibly last, unless he had something to say about it. The confidence to do what's right no matter how many admirals tell you otherwise.[1] The charisma to have one's crew follow one round the moons of Nibia and through Perdition's flames in pursuit of thos ideals... Starfleet orders be damned[2]. I learned stability from Spock and interventionism from The Doctor (Who, not EMH), but the moral and emotional core was always mon capitaine. For a man who by his own admission wasn't good with children, Jean-Luc Picard was the best surrogate father a deprived young boy could have.

Which is why I've been totally stoked for the somewhat obviously named STAR TREK: PICARD. I've been waiting twenty years to catch back up with The Further Adventures of Space Dad. And this week he beamed back into my living room as if he'd never been away.

(...but, dad, you said you were just popping out for space cigarettes...)

Ever since TNG ended, I've been rationing my consumption of the remaining episodes that I haven't watched yet, in some possibly misguided application of the inverse taxi driver's fallacy. There are 178 of these in total, there won't ever be any more, and I've already seen more than half. I have, I assume, these three score years and ten in which I get to enjoy the experience of an unseen episode of TNG a maximum of fifty-odd times. Just recently, the projected situation has changed quite radically vis-a-vis hard limits on the scarcity of televisual depictions of Space Dad.[3] As a result, for purely logical (Captain), economic reasons, my consumption of late has markedly increased.

I've been following the blogs and the listicles telling you which episodes you must watch before ST:PIC drops. They've been okay but all of them have been lacking inna certain something, what the French call I don't know what. It might be to do with the fact that they all focus on plot beats with which you might be expected to be familar, and ignore any considerations of heart and/or soul. Perhaps they're all written by green-blooded sons of bitches, or just by people who don't quite get it. Mostly it's probably that none of them inclue 'Rascals', which I will defend even unto my last breath as a very silly, but nonetheless brilliant, hour of television.

Some members of my team at work have asked me for my definitive Essential Star Trek Primer. I can sympathize with the listicle writers because compilation of such a catalogue is hard work, yo. It must be significantly harder if you're writing to a deadline and you don't have the first clue what Star Trek is actually about. My definitive primer is still in the works, natch, but I promise it will be completed some time before the date of the events it's purported to depict. If there's sufficient demand it might even make its way onto the internets.

And none of it matters anyway, in the end. Plot and continuity are irrelevant. Concordance is futile. Star Trek has always been about journeying to the final frontier and, there, learning about oneself: journeying with them through the magick of narrative, we impoverished Earth-bound mortals discover ourselves. This week, Space Dad returned as if he'd never been away, and I learned about myself that, genuinely and unironically, I love him.

-- 

[0] Most of the others involved Beethoven.

[1] It's always the admirals, isn't it?

[2] Seriously, did we ever meet a Starfleet admiral with whom Picard shared mutual respect? There was Hansen, but he lasted about five minutes.

[3] There are enough textual depictions and, in extremis, *shudder* fanfic to keep me going long past my projected lifespan, but it should go without saying that it's not the same unless Sir Patrick is doing it.

gominokouhai: (Khaaan!)

There's plenty of scope in current events for a constructive and far-reaching debate about cultural appropriation versus cultural appreciation, but naturally I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about how much of a dickhead Jamie Oliver is.

TL;DR: it's a lot.

It's fair enough to say that all cuisine is stolen from somewhere. We've been cooking for at least 1.8 million years and pretty much everything has been done before by someone somewhere. This is especially true in GB, where our native produce consists entirely of watercress and mammoth meat with absolutely everything else having been imported from somewhere. Apples come from China, dormice came over with the Romans, fish & chips are Jewish. There's no such thing as authentic British cuisine, and we like it that way. The cultural appropriation is the bit that makes it delicious.

There are considerations to bear in mind, though. Nobody seems to mind cultural appropriation when it's done with a modicum of respect for the source culture, and/or if it's done well, and that's what's lacking on this occasion.

This latest flap involving the fat-tongued mockney twat is amusing precisely because it's so clear-cut. Jamie's punchy jerk rice is not jerk, and it's barely even rice. Jerk is a meat marinade based on citrus juice, allspice, and scotch bonnets, none of which appear in this travesty. What Jamie has done, as is his wont, is whack a bit of this in and a slosh of that, and probably a luvverly good glug of olive oil because it's Jamie and he can't help himself, all without the remotest concern for the people he's ripping off. And then he calls it jerk not out of any respect for the culture that served as his inspiration, but because putting words on things sells units.

Crucially, apparently the result is disgusting, because amongst all of his myriad other faults, Jamie is a terrible cook.

As we all know, he's not only a terrible cook but also a terrible human being. This is clearly evidenced by every action he has ever taken in his worthless life, not least the smug, sanctimonious attitude, the arrogance, the hypocrisy, the poverty-shaming, the fat-shaming, and the constant moral crusades against anyone who's insufficiently upper-middle-class for his Winchester-addled tastes. But the specific example of his odious nature which is most pertinent right now is his cluelessness. Faced with the prospect that he might have made a teensy social misstep, backed with the weight of plenty of evidence and the outrage of the British Afro-Caribbean community, Jamie's only response is to double down, and call his detractors mad. So now we can add mental-health-shaming to the list.

Far be it from me to encourage Britons of Jamaican origin to take up the torches and pitchforks and show Jamie what a real barbecue looks like, from the inside. But if you all would choose to do so, I'd consider it an added bonus.

If like me, this whole controversy has just left you craving proper jerk, the Irish Times has a recipe.

Catching up

Sat, Aug. 11th, 2018 09:44
gominokouhai: (Khaaan!)

Finally got around to watching STAR TREK BEYOND. The last few years have been somewhat disrupted, and I'm regretting that I didn't have the opportunity to watch this one on the big screen. Zooooom! Pow! Blam! Pewpewpewpew EEEEEOWWWWWdooj. (I hope that last one wasn't a spoiler for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.)

Spectacular, certainly, but what I'm really enjoying about the JJverse movies is the characterization. By this point in the Kelvin timeline, these people are very different to the prime universe counterparts that we know, but I love them anyway. INtO dArKNeSS was a trash film, but it was totally redeemed by performances and dialogue. I would quite happily watch hours and hours of a hypothetical Zac And Zoe Bicker At Each Other Show. Any issues with canonicity of the film's plot can be fixed quite handily, and anything that gives Z&Z more screen time together deserves to be massaged into canon, even if it takes a bit of a stretch. Especially if we get the added bonus of Alice Eve in her space underwear.

BEYOND is like that but more betterer, plus there are none of those tricky issues with continuity. I really like the way they tied in the history of the Federation as established in ENTERPRISE, and somehow managed to make it make sense. The conflict between lofty Federation values and the grittier, more brutal mindset of old pre-unification Earth was beautifully handled, dashed off economically in a handful of lines during an epic fistfight between two top-flight actors. You can tell that the writers of this instalment have a genuine love for the franchise.

And the tribute to Spock Prime and Leonard Nimoy was wonderful. Even if they had to use a still from STV to do it.

Plus, there were splosions.

I've been enjoying DISCOVERY as well. It has its flaws, as does any first season, but it's just so damn pretty. On those occasions when it feels a little too gritty to be Star Trek, I can just watch an episode of THE ORVILLE to detox. Between the two of them, they make one complete expression of where Star Trek should be in the 21st century.

Now if we can just find a way to transport Alara Kitan into the prime universe, I'll be a happy boy.

gominokouhai: (Inspector Fuckup)

Happy Independence Day, Scotland!

Some of the more pedantic among you may observe, at this juncture, that Scotland has no Independence Day. Well, yes, say I, you are correct inna very narrow, technical sense, but as you know I've never been one to let tedious facts get in the way of a meticulously constructed argument.

That argument commences now.

Today, 24th March 2016, is the day that we would have become an independent country, had we not collectively bottled it eighteen months ago. My feelings on this matter have been made clear, but, more cogently for the current discussion: no true Scotsman that I know would let a weak reason like that get in the way of an excuse for a party.

It is an inconvenient fact that 2,001,926 people voted the wrong way in 2014, because they were either too feartie, or misinformed, or Tories. I see no reaon why that should get between me and my celebratory whisky.

Work as if you live in the early days of a better nation. Be the change you want to see in the world. Live positive. Think global and act local. Act as though you already have what you want.

Fly the saltire. Join me inna dram. Strip the willow down George Street. Whatever takes your fancy, really.

And if you don't happen to have any fireworks handy, I hear that molotov cocktails are the next best thing, if you know what I mean, hint, hint.

gominokouhai: (Default)

I've been investigatin electropop lately, most of the current batch of which appears to be Canadian for some reason. I have no problem with this. At least it's not Canadian hip-hop. Movin on from the Canadian theme before I get myself into trouble, at this stage I feel I should mention CHVRCHES, who claim that their band name is pronounced churches, but I know better. They are from Glasgow and they are awesome. Particularly the lead singer, Lauren Mayberry, who is cute and elfin and adorable and basically so much the complete opposite of Shirley Manson that she goes round the back of the spectrum and becomes exactly as amazing. Chvrches spell their name with a V so that you can google for them, which you should do immediately if you've not already done so.

I have this 160GB mp3 player to fill up, and it's an actual mp3 player this time, so I can't cheat by includin the complete Sylvester McCoy Doctor Who and all the seasons of Sherlock I haven't watched yet. It's got to be actual music, and even for me there's only so many versions of the Glorious Ninth I need to carry around with me in my pocket. (A post on which is forthcomin; suffice to say I renounce all former allegiances to Karajan.) Somebody on the Twitters recommended the New Order album Power, Corruption & Lies, which I've not actually listened to. When it was released in 1983, my listenin habits were more or less evenly split between Prokoviev and Pinky & Perky. (I was precocious, but I was also three years old.) That I have not got round to it since then is an omission I knew I must rectify forthwith—but, in my defence, do any of you realize how many different versions there are of the Glorious Ninth?

Listenin then, at last, to Power, Corruption & Lies, three or four tracks reminded me of That Goddamn American Express Advert that I remember seeing once. And then, finally, it arrived in my ears as some part of me knew it would: Blue Monday, the biggest-selling 12" single of all time.

Of course I knew it already. And, because I was cursèd to grow up in the nineties, I knew it already chiefly because of this:

Even back then I was aware that this was possibly the worst advert of all time. I envisioned a cadre of corpulent besuited bastards, cocaine-crazy and caffeinated, masturbatorily manifesting moronic muppetry, thuswise: it's time for an EMERGENCY MARKETING MEETING!

INT. DAY. The MID-NINETIES. Opulent CORPORATE BOARDROOM

(PROPS DEPARTMENT: please make sure there is a RED STAPLER somewhere in shot)

TWAT #ONE is agitatedly pointin a STICK at a FLIPCHART that has some damn GRAPH on it.

TWAT #ONE
Okay, we're the wealthiest and most expensive credit card company on the planet, we own all the money in the world, and each of us has a secondary personal Learjet just so we can ship around the team of flunkies required to wax our primary Learjets, but but we need more. More... flirting?... sorry, that's a whole different advert that hasn't been made yet, with subtler humour than this scene. Anyway. I understand there's an entire new generation of suckers who have money. So: who knows anything about this "youth demographic"?

TWAT #TWO
Well, from what I've read in the newspapers, the Youth Demographic really do like their "music with a repetitive beat".

TWAT #ONE
Excellent. Let's have some of that. Anyone else?

TWAT #THREE
They like... skydiving?

TWAT #ONE
Brilliant. Throw that in there. What else?

TWAT #FOUR
I heard that they really like skin-tight black PVC trenchcoats.

TWAT #ONE
Who doesn't? You're fired. Next!

[VO] prolonged nasal SNORTING noise

TWAT #FIVE looks up from the table, takes a moment to orient himself

TWAT #FIVE
They like... geishas pulling stupid faces?

TWAT #ONE
Give that man some stock options.

~ FIN ~

I have always said that I hated the bloody Nineties: the decade of Westlife and the Vengaboys and Columbine and backwards jeans and Global Hypercolor and pastels and plaid and the Bosnian genocide and the Doctor Who Movie. But! (Even before you start: that was a preemptive but.) To be fair to the nineties, we also had Dark Season (so much pastel! and Jacqueline Pearce!) and Knightmare and Animaniacs and Way Out West and Portishead and we had both Ren and Stimpy simultaneously.

I've made my peace with the nineties.

After all, if we're considrin solely the restricted subset of credit card advertizin, then it could be so very, very much worse.

Goddammit

Thu, Apr. 28th, 2011 15:58
gominokouhai: (Default)

I suddenly find myself unable to continue ignoring the royal wedding. It's got Daleks in it.

A royal wedding street party with a difference will see a Dalek serve up trays of drinks and snacks to guests on Friday - presumably with cries of 'Extermi-Cake'.

More likely, WOULD YOU CARE FOR A PLAS-TIC CUP OF LUKE-WARM CHE-RRY-ADE. Although, the more I think about it, the more this starts to make sense. What better way to celebrate a great British institution than with a terrifying symbol of imperialistic aggression? Particularly, one that some bloke from the Home Counties has spent a week painting red, white and blue?

I am no stranger to those odd periods of mass hysteria that we're all subjected to on occasion. When Diana died I bought Candle in the Wind twice. I saw Titanic three times in the cinema (and each time, because it is a four-hour-long behemoth, I had to go to the loo just before Kate Winslet gets nekkid.) We're all allowed to get emotional beyond the bounds of reason now and then, especially if we blog self-deprecatingly about it years later. But this one just seems supremely pointless. Two people I don't care about are performing a ceremony I don't care about. I'm not invited. I don't get any of the cake. I am unsure what, as a nation, we all gain by waving flags to solemnize the fact that, according to a book most of us haven't read, two young people are now permitted to fuck.

I shall be at work tomorrow. Although I might take the opportunity to have an excuse to rewatch The Princess Bride.

gominokouhai: (Default)

[personal profile] miss_s_b just posted her Political Compass, and reminded me that it's been a while since I've done mine. I know that I've swung significantly more to the radical-left in the last six months alone. So here we go:

The Political Compass

Economic Left/Right: -6.62
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.36

The last time I did one of these was 24th August, 2007, when it looked like this:

Moar graphs )

You can, of course, do your own here should you so wish.

gominokouhai: (Default)

Kettling is a tool used solely to stifle dissent. So we now have a handheld Iphone app to avoid kettles.

In Egypt, they shut down the internet. So the Egyptians built their own one.

This is a message to The Man: don't fuck with geeks.

gominokouhai: (Default)

Apparently they're remaking The Day of the Triffids. I loved the book: I remember reading it on my way home from school. That wouldn't be a particularly interesting story, but I cycled.

The franchise is rather beloved across the pond, witters patronizing Yank David Ehrlich, and maybe the closest thing the British have to a genuinely iconic monster. I'm not so sure about that. We've got Daleks and Cybermen. We've got Sontarans, Haemovores, Silurians, Sea Devils, Rutans, Terileptils, and the Nestene Consciousness. I could go on for some time in this vein, from Autons to Zygons, so perhaps I should move on.

The British need a mobile nettle as their iconic monster? We've got Mr Hyde. We've got freaking Dracula. (Okay, Bram Stoker was Irish. It's close.) And we gave the world Margaret Thatcher. We're doing pretty well for monsters.

The 1962 movie took huge liberties with the book and is notable only for having Janette Scott in it, whom, it should be noted, I really got hot when I saw. Based on the trailer, though, it seems that all she gets to do is swoon over Howard Keel. I think I can safely give that a miss.

I'm off to watch the 1981 BBC adaptation again. There are two seconds of sub-par special effects and one bad hairstyle, but apart from that, it's pretty much perfect.

Four Lions

Thu, Apr. 29th, 2010 16:38
gominokouhai: (Default)

Apparently Chris Morris says that attempting to create controversy is one of the most boring things you can do. It seems odd, then, that he never sits down and thinks: for my next project, I'll write about the droll antics of a cartoon dog. Instead, for his first feature film, he's taken on the popular subjects of Islamic extremism and suicide bombing. A rollicking good time is guaranteed for all.

Morris is doubtless going to receive unending flak from the same people who spectacularly missed the point of Paedogeddon by claiming that it was making light of a taboo topic. But terrorism is comedy and has been for some years now. Remember the Glasgow Airport attacks? Two idiots drove their car into a bollard, a wee jakey baggage-handler having a fag break kicked them in the nutsacks, and they fell over. While on fire. That's not terrorism, that's slapstick. With a provenance like that, a film like Four Lions can't fail to have comedy value. But is it good satire?

It doesn't have to be. Morris' satire is uncompromising and uncomfortable; it goes beyond amusing into disturbing when he depicts a bunch of bizarrely stupid people, then turns the mirror around and says, That's You, That Is. You squirm in your seat and maybe come away with a different view of the world, but you don't laugh. This is why I've always preferred The Day Today to Brass Eye; it's sillier, and it bites less. No one can deny that Morris' satire bites with the viciousness of the deadliest shark, but you don't always want to settle down and watch a fun comedy only to find, halfway through, that your arm's hanging off.

So in tackling the very current and pertinent subject of Islamic terrorism, Morris has wisely chosen to use it only as a setting. This isn't a film about terrorism, it's a film about dysfunctional group dynamics. The characters are jihadists, but they might as well be a five-a-side football club or a scout group engaged in some crazy caper. Actually, thinking about it, they might as well be The Young Ones. There's the bossy one, the thick one, the cool one, and the slightly-saner one. As they bumble and bicker their way through doctrinal disputes and IED manufacture, we get to see some wonderfully-drawn character moments and learn convoluted new insults amongst the immensely quotable dialogue.

The plot follows our eponymous Lions through the tribulations of martyrdom: building suicide bombs, trial runs, selecting targets, and avoiding detection. Everything is presented in such a straightforward way that when they finally start to execute their plan in the final reel, it comes as a jarring shift in tone. The awkward juxtaposition of domestic comedy with real horror perfectly mirrors the characters' own feelings towards the end of the story, and thus was probably intentional on the part of the filmmakers. Morris may not always be subtle, but he knows his craft.

There's some incredibly effective use of hand-held camerawork to create an immersive feel, and not in the usual, tired manner in which they lazily emulate the fly-on-the-wall documentary. Since the characters spend half of the film pointing cameras at each other, when your point of view wobbles it simply means that you're standing in the living room with them, a fifth uncredited co-conspirator with another camcorder. The performances are genuine and natural: the characters are just blokes who happen to be making explosives on their allotment.

If anything, that's the message of the film. Terrorists are human beings, just like you: which means that, just like you, they're incompetent, clueless, and foolish, vainly stumbling through life in a harebrained struggle to find some sense to make of it all, an attempt that's ultimately doomed to be an utter failure. Most of the kneejerk criticism from the tabloids is going to be about the fact that the film portrays terrorists in a sympathetic light, but what it's actually doing is portraying people with bitter, nihilistic cynicism, in a heartwarming sort of way.

The climactic scenes are set at a major public event such as that where terrorism might conceivably take place (no spoilers here). They feel like a bit of a copout, as if it's an attempt to cram some extra humour into the film by having everybody in silly costumes at the end. If so, it's a wasted effort: the film is hilarious without help. I laughed a lot. And because it wouldn't be a Chris Morris production unless it made me feel horrendously uncomfortable in some way or other, I laughed a lot, realised with horror what nightmarish events I was laughing at, and then started to laugh at that instead.

It's a very British film. I think it's a very important film, but only in an incidental way. Mostly it's a film with brilliant characterization. If it horrifies us then it's because we find ourselves relating to and engaging with monsters, but we did that in Frankenstein, Downfall, and Dr Strangelove. Sometimes it's good to stare into the abyss, and to realise that the abyss is pathetic.

Just like you.

gominokouhai: (Default)

Lovelace and Babbage!

Lovelace and Babbage, (CC) Sydney Padua

Starring: Ada Lovelace! Lovelace, (CC) Sydney Padua

And Charles Babbage! Babbage, (CC) Sydney Padua

This is quite possibly the best thing ever. And the artist claims that she's not doing a comic. I need all of you to email her and tell her how many copies you'd buy, and convince her otherwise.

Quite long )

Off to the West Coast for the weekend. I need a holiday.

On stones

Sun, Jun. 15th, 2008 15:17
gominokouhai: (Default)

Somebody has left a pamphlet in the office about the evils of caffeine. I'm very glad they did. It reminded me that I have a cup of tea brewing. Mmm, tea.

~

Today's constitutional crisis, threatening to rock the very foundations of the Scottish establishment[0], is that Our Eck reckons that the Stone of Scone is a fake. I'm not sure what constitutes fake when we're talking about rocks. Is it secretly made of plastic? Is it just rock veneer on a cardboard facsimile? Is it somehow less rocklike that we've been led to believe?

I've always thought it was a pretty stupid national symbol in any case. Down south, they have the Crown Jewels in all their resplendent finery. Up here we have a chunk of rock, and we're proud of it.

Mind you, Edward I the Scots-Hammer went to the trouble, in 1296, to raise an army and come all the way up here in order to steal the same said chunk of rock. Who's looking foolish now?

And theories persist that instead of the historic throne of Scottish kings, he was given a toilet seat instead. Who's looking foolish now? I've often wondered how that would have worked. Let's imagine it together, in Braveheart-style glorious Technicolor™-o-vision:

Lights! Camera! Irish Army Reservists! Action! )

From the article, Professor Ted Cowan says: How credible is it that you can just make a replica of something like that in five minutes because Edward I of England is coming to steal the real one? Actually, it's really very credible indeed. It's a rock. You can find them just lying around.

The Professor, we're told, is one of Scotland's most senior historians. And yet he doesn't seem to know the scarcity value of rocks. I think Edinburgh isn't what it used to be.

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[0] Pun not intended, I swear.

gominokouhai: (Default)

Happy pigs make the best bacon, it's true, but I'm with A A Gill on chickens. Not only because he's disagreeing with the Mockney Prat, but because I really hate chickens.

Jamie's got himself some good press recently, but it's for all the wrong reasons. Right now he's campaigning about the living standards of chickens, and chickens are scrawny little bags of evil covered in fluff, worthwhile only as an accompaniment to bacon. I have looked into the eyes of a chicken, and it was then that I knew true hatred. (Admittedly, I did proceed directly to eating its unborn offspring, who were delicious.)

You can't cuddle a chicken or train it to fetch your paper. Cows, sheep, and pigs could be considered cute and/or fluffy. Even fish have personalities, and I'm in favour of farms that include playparks and whatnot for fish. Chickens, on the other hand, are drumsticks with a beak attached, held together by pure rage. It's a bloody good job for them that they're so damn tasty. If it wasn't for the existence of garlic, I firmly believe that we would have eradicated chickens long ago, like we did to wolves and snakes.

Before that, Jamie gained notoriety by championing the concept of nutritious school dinners. Nice try, but I don't care about children either. Children should shut up and eat their gruel, or whatever it is they have nowadays, thus leaving more of the good food for me. (Such as those free-range chickens that take up acres of farmland.) I had to suffer when I was their age. We called it `character-building'.

The right ideas, the wrong targets. Despite some mellowing in his old age, he still has some way to go before I'll admit to agreeing with him about anything. And besides, in my head he will always be the Naked Chef, and as a result deserves eviscerating with a blunt whisk.

I am in favour of free range, organic, slow-reared, locally-produced food not because of ethics and certainly not because it's got more effics innit, geeza. I give neither a hoot nor a fig for my Carbon Footprints or my Food Miles. I am in favour of free-range, slow reared, locally-produced food because it tastes better.

(Offer not valid if you happen to live next to a battery farm, but then that's your loss.)

A A Gill is right when he observes that this is unsustainable over the whole planet, but for once he misses the point. Who gives a fuck about the rest of the planet? It's full of people who only want to eat McDonalds anyway.

And if you have even a shred of respect for the animals that provide us with food, you should make sure that they do not die in vain. And the way to do that is to make sure that they don't end up in anything with a label marked Tesco Value anything.

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