Oh folks, hello folks. I'd like to go to these. Who wants to come with me?
- Florence + the Machine, Glasgow SECC, Monday 12th March. £29.50 a head. There's not really a machine. It's more of a concept. Nonetheless I like Florence a great deal and I suspect she's bloody awesome live.
- All-new Jeff Wayne's musical version of The War Of The Worlds, Glasgow SECC, Tuesday 11th December. It's a brand new one starring Liam frickin' Neeson in Richard Burton's role. There's a 36-piece string orchestra and a 35-foot fighting machine that attacks the audience. (This one isn't just a concept.) And did I mention Liam Neeson? I have a huge man-crush on Neeson's voice. Tickets £42.50 or £62.50; not sure what you get for the extra twenty quid.
For either one it should theoretically be possible to get the late train back to Edinburgh.
It's a brand new year and the sun is high, so in the spirit of shameless self-promotion, I shall herein list the various cyberlocations at which I am active online.
Blog: hie ye to Dreamwidth, where I am gominokouhai. Those of you without a Dreamwidth account can log in with any OpenID (including an LJ login). If, for reasons I cannot fathom, you still prefer Livejournal, everything that does not directly involve stuff I don't want the Russian Mafia to read is cross-posted to LJ, where I am also gominokouhai. If you don't have either, the blog has a handy RSS feed which you may plug into your favourite reader.
Blogging has been light in 2011 because I've had a shitty year. I hope for this to improve and for my output to return to something like normal. Expect a mix of personal stuff (with any luck, only the vaguely interesting bits), spittle-flecked political ranting, and occasionally creative sentence constructions. And probably a lot about Doctor Who.
Google Plus: I'm on it, but I haven't worked out yet what I'm going to use it for.
The Facebook: I am on it, but I never use it. I hate the bloody thing with the passion of a thousand suns, and so should you. The vast majority of notification emails from Facebook go into my spamtrap. If you're trying to invite me to something, I won't see it: have the courtesy to email.
Professionally: this is what Linkedin is for.
Delicious or Del.icio.us or whateverthefuck it's called now: I post links here. If all goes according to plan, they shall be daily autoblogged to DW, courtesy of andrewducker's remarkable Feedthistothat.
Erm: That's it.
I would love to know more cool people on any of the above sites (excepting the Facebook), so get in touch. Those of you in my DW circle can find the more mundane, meatspace coordinates here.
While we're on the subject, people have been asking what
gomi no kouhai means. In response I shall give you this excerpt from William Gibson's short The Winter Market:
Rubin, in some way that no one quite understands, is a master, a teacher, what the Japanese call a sensei. What he's the master of, really, is garbage, kipple, refuse, the sea of cast-off goods our century floats upon. Gomi no sensei. Master of junk.
The opposite of a sensei is a kouhai, a student. I love cyberpunk; I wish there had been more of it. I still find it mildly amusing that I have a username which I selected back when Japanese stuff was cool and which is now, I hope, charmingly retro. Let it be known that I'm only being a weeaboo ironically.
Livejournal doesn't give a shit about you and Dreamwidth does. It's exactly the same except it works better, it's less ugly, and the people who run it give a damn.
And DW doesn't get DDOSed every time the Russians have an election.
If you have friends on LJ and you're considering switching, chances are that those friends aren't going to be on LJ for long, either. Someone has to be first.
The vast majority of paid features on LJ are available with the free Dreamwidth account. You can import your posts and cross-post to LJ and set up RSS feeds for other people's LJ posts. Commenters can use OpenID to leave comments with their LJ login if they must. Nothing has to change except that you'll be somewhere where people like you.
Join us. We have cookies.
Those of you not on my Dreamwidth access list are missing some fairly important personal stuff. I'm not crossposting everything to LJ at the moment.
If you're on my LJ friends list, or think you should be, then you might want to have a look at my DW account if you have a login over there. If anyone wants a Dreamwidth account of their own, I have a stack of invite codes going spare.
LJ's most recent fuckup has Internet up in arms. It doesn't affect me much, since I have comments disabled on LJ already. Nonetheless it's indicative of an attitude the LJ management have towards the users that's only been getting worse.
For reference, here are the rules:
- Comment as much as you like, link to comments, pingback, whatever you like. Particularly feel free to link to comments in places where Respected Newspaper Editors might see them and think that that nice young man might want a job.
- Do it with an access-restricted post and I will hunt you the fuck down. There will be fire.
I remember being the sole voice of reason during Nipplegate, but the situation has deteriorated since then. A lot of people seem to be resisting Dreamwidth on the basis that it's full of self-important whiners and fandoms. I'm not sure these people have looked at Livejournal recently, or indeed ever. Both sites have their fair share of thirteen-year-old slashers and Twitards. It's what internet is for.
Personally, I find that Dreamwidth is a nicer site, with a (much) nicer interface, and a richer featureset in terms of options that are actually useful. The colours are nicer (I turned off that pink shit). The staff are much nicer. So far, nobody there has tried to use free pictures of kittens to mollify an outraged userbase. They listen to their users in a way that LJ doesn't. And I'm not giving my money to the Russian Mafia.
Also: ew, Facebook.
In the vain hope that it will be useful, here's what I do to combine usage of the two sites:
- Use the automated import tool to scarf all of my original content from its previous LJ home.
- Automatically crosspost entries from DW to LJ.
- Deactivate comments on the crosspost, so I can keep the discussion in one place.
- LJ users can comment via LJ OpenID, or anonymously, or with another OpenID, however they wish.
- Get on with my life, secure in the knowledge that stupid shit doesn't, currently, occur in this region of Internet.
- Use LJ solely to read those people who are still there.
Easy. It's not perfect, but it works. When they get cross-site reading sorted out, it will be even awesomer.
I should mention I have DW invite codes for them as wants them.
Now, perhaps, is a good time to answer that oft-asked question:
why do you call it Apocalypse Laboratories, pajh?. People ask me this all the time. Usually right after
what are you wearing?
The story begins, as so many stories do, at school. We were tasked to write a letter of complaint about a disappointing holiday. We're supposed to say that the beds were dirty and breakfast was undercooked and stuff like that. I'm fourteen years old and this is bor-ring. Fortunately, there are always ways to spice up school projects. As best as I recall, my letter went thusly:
I write to express concern about the treatment I received at your property, Seaside Cottages, on Friday the 24th last.
My first indication that something was amiss occurred upon first approaching the property, when I noticed that the traditional epithetWELCOMEon the doormat had been replaced with the more ominousABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER. Indeed, as I stepped onto this doormat I was surprised when it gave way beneath my feet, and I found myself shooting down a tunnel with smooth metal walls. As I emerged at the bottom of the shaft in a hellish cavern, I found myself confronted by my nemesis, Dr. E. Ville of Apocalypse Laboratories, who
At this point I got bored again and, conveniently, my English teacher got tired of having to deal with me. I was allowed to move on to the next assignment. (I believe we read a Steinbeck novel. It was terrible, but when they made us watch the film version and things went awry, it served as the inspiration for my next epic story, Quest for the Mystic Lost Videotape of DEATH; or, Of Teachers And Devil Worshippers.)
Anyway, the name Apocalypse Laboratories appealed to me. I kept it.
Speaking of moving flat, which I sort of was, some time ago now, I've been helping to rearrange the new flat so that it is worthy to assume the title of Apocalypse Laboratories when I move in. Yesterday, this involved dismantling a bed, lugging it through to another room, and reassembling it, better than it was before. Better, stronger, faster, but more importantly, less wobbly. My superior grip strength allows me to screw things together in such a way that they remain screwed.
( TMI ) I AM MAN.
Next: I make up a chest of drawers. Rawr.
 Not really
 Don't get excited. My
superior grip strength is superior only by comparison to the previous bed-assembler, who at the time was a young disabled girl.
 That is to say, why I don't write porn more often, rather than practise it. Although it may have some effect as far as I know.
The actual exodus to Dreamwidth seems to have begun. I've had a play around on the site, and it looks pretty reasonable; it already does several things significantly better than LJ. And it could be a lot worse. It could be
spudtater's post here (which is the same as spudtater's post here, I think) contains some pretty good suggestions on how to handle the transition. If I'm doing this right, you should be able to read this post on LJ, just like we all did in the old days, when the internet was built out of tin cans and string, and before LJ sold us all to the Russian Mafia, or whatever it was that they did.
Dreamwidth posts from yr. corresp. are syndicated at gominokouhai_fd for those who want to continue reading me on LJ, although I'm not sure how well that will handle friends-locking. Let's find out.
That is to say, the episode regarding the perfect steak is now available. You can't download the actual steak through the internet. I'm still working on that bit.
Go, watch, comment. Tell your friends. Subscribe to the RSS feed. And come back next week for more.
Lunar eclipse tonight, entering penumbra at 1.43 am (GMT) with totality from about threeish. The Americans should get a lightshow at a slightly more reasonable time of the evening. I'll get one just before dawn, when I shall most likely still be up anyway. I have Firefly to rewatch.
(I have, it seems, done that joke already, but no eclipse post would be complete without a link.)
EDIT: ...and it's cloudy. Buggeration.
It is the policy of gominokouhai dot livejournal dot come to correct errors as soon as is practicable, unless doing so would be really, really embarrassing, in which case the policy is to claim that the fault lies with reality's noncompliance with the facts as stated herein.
The forecast for Edinburgh is cloudy, natch.
See also these awesome pictures from STEREO-B of the Moon's transit across the Sun. The two bodies are different sizes from this distance: no one on Earth has ever seen these pictures before.
(Except for the several million people who linked to this before I did, obviously.)
Next, Hugh plays World of Warcraft for six weeks or so and then we make the feature-length version. I shall be called back at some stage to do a director's cut, special edition, extended version of the Creepy Opening Monologue.
And now, off to the wrap party.
I want to thank my agent, and my makeup artist, and my hairdresser....