Emails

Wed, Oct. 27th, 2010 16:49
gominokouhai: (Default)

Hello Paul, your Star Trek costume has arrived. Bloody hell, my life just took a weird turn. However it's just a top, so if you could please wear black trousers and shoes... welcome to the wonderful world of movie stardom. Please provide the bottom half of your own spacesuit.

Has anyone seen my legs? They don't appear to be below my waist, where I normally keep them.

Playing the Star Trek psycho (it's just occurred to me: That Scene with Janet Leigh wouldn't have worked nearly so well with a sonic shower) tomorrow and Friday, and then, on Friday, I have to change out of the Starfleet uniform and run off to audition for a completely different piece. Specifically, I need to stop killin' dudes, cross town, and do a romantic scene with a beautiful twenty-year-old. I can't see this ending well, and not only because the romance is written by Dostoyevsky.

I mean that quite literally. Dear old Fyodor Mikhaylovich is not particularly renowned for his mastery of the screenplay as an artform, largely due to his untimely death some years before the genre was invented. This script is lifted straight out of the book into a single fixed scene, one set, one shot, no direction, and no regard given to how films work. I gather this company have previously only done stage work: it shows. More work for me. Would be a good part, though.

~

At regular pays-the-bills work today I've received a single-sentence email (Can you please confirm that we have a reservation with you for 2 people for 2 nights Nov 11-12) in 100-point Arial text, taking up four screens and requiring me to scroll. I don't respond well to being shouted at. I've considered answering in 200-point ALL CAPS AND BOLD FOR GOOD MEASURE, or maybe whispering a reply in Flyspeck-3. Neither option amuses me sufficiently. I think I'mma sophisticate this up.

my dear mister price
your reservation stands firm
like the ancient oak

Better idea: commission Brian Blessed to phone him up and reconfirm.

gominokouhai: (Default)

It would appear that I have Contacts in the Industry.

Chatting to [livejournal.com profile] scotm last night, I heard rumours that RTD is giving a masterclass at the MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival next month. Presumably it'll be a seminar on Application of the Deus Ex Machina in a postmodernist context or Blowjob jokes for the under-fives or similar.

The Grauniad had a competition a while back, in which you for a free place at the MGEITF. I didn't partake, because the Festival's on during August and I'm busy, but with this new information I'm willing to make an exception.

A quick text message and I find out who won the competition. Congratulations to [livejournal.com profile] salchichaastuta, and any chance of smuggling me in? She doesn't think she's allowed to bring guests, so I specified that we'd just find a more fun! way to do things. I observed that I'm a highly-trained personal assistant and carer, and perhaps she wouldn't mind wearing a cast and crutches for the day.

[livejournal.com profile] salchichaastuta is a girl[0], and thus (presumably) loves playing dress-up, and couldn't resist.

Realistically speaking, then, I reckon I'll get one question for Rusty before I'm escorted out of the venue by Security, so it needs to be a really good question.

I'm currently torn between

  • Which do you regret most, Love & Monsters or New Earth?
  • Is it more difficult to write half a good episode or to stop there without introducing any hint of a resolution?
  • When are you going to apologize?
Any suggestions gratefully received.

Oh dear. Now I take a look, it seems that Jamie Oliver is going to be there as well. I'm going to need some more FBI guys, I guess.

--
[0] I am unable to say that word without doing it in Derek Jacobi's voice. How inappropriate.

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gominokouhai

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